One of my favorite quotations is from Harper Lee, who wrote: “To Kill A Mockingbird.” She said, “you can choose your friends, but you sho’ can’t choose your family, and they’re still kin to you no matter whether you acknowledge them or not, and it makes you look right silly when you don’t.”
Political parties and politicians, at best, should be treated like friends and not family, and the ties between them and us should be based on at least these four characteristics.
A friendship worth retaining at a minimum should be based on mutual respect, honesty, support, and Empathy. In most cases, the consistent violation of any of these characteristics will, at a minimum, raise serious doubts about that friendship.
The relationship, “the friendship,” that the Republican Party has with its voters and supporters begs for an explanation given my four principles of friendship. Are the Republican Party and its politicians honest? I’d like to preface my response by sharing I am a New Yorker who knew the Pre-Apprentice, pre-politician Donald Trump. If his picture were included in a Rorschach Test, the reaction from an overwhelming number of New Yorkers would be “habitual liar.” People usually respond by saying that all politicians lie, but I have never known anyone, let alone a politician, who lies as much, needlessly, as Donald Trump. Sadly, this did not start with Trump. The Republican Party has lied notoriously to its supporters for decades. The most destructive lie promoted by the Republican Party is that your greatest enemies are fellow Americans.
One surefire test of a good friendship is whether a friend does everything they can to be there in your time of need. Too many times when Americans had to rely on Republicans when they were in power, they have been out of luck. Where were they when the city of New Orleans looked like Atlantis? Or how about the time when the Republicans responded to a global pandemic without a comprehensive plan and handed off responsibility to individual states? If the outcomes weren’t so deadly, it would have been an unparalleled comedy of errors. Yes, Operation Warp Speed contributed to the development of the second available vaccine, but other than that, we weren’t singing; “You’ve Got a Friend In Me” when it came to the Republican response.
I don’t think I’m presumptuous when I state that we have a special responsibility to take care of Americans who volunteer to serve in our armed forces. They commit to putting their lives on the line for us; in return, we commit to taking care of them. The latest example of Republicans breaking this agreement was their rejection of the bill, which would provide health care and benefits for millions of veterans injured by exposure to toxins ranging from Agent Orange in Vietnam to burn pits in Iraq. This is not the first time they have raised their middle fingers to American heroes. They did this to 9/11 1st responders, but this time they rejected it out of spite against Democrats. That’s shameful. With friends like this, who needs enemies?
The Republican Party respects only one thing: the quest for power regardless of how you obtain it. The United States Senate claims to be the world’s greatest deliberative body, but it has been the antithesis of that for the last three decades. The Republican Party has disrespected the constitution, its Democratic colleagues, and the American people. Exhibit one is how the Republican Party actively works to undermine legislation that helps protect the constitutional right of American citizens to vote. Before this, they engineered the further empowerment of corporations and wealthy individuals to increase hit control and influence over our electoral system and politicians. The Republican Party promised that the Tax Cut and Jobs Act of 2017 would not only pay for itself it was supposed to increase tax revenues. The law only paid for about 1/5 of itself, and millions of Americans still await the promised $4,000 wage increase. Friends don’t treat friends like suckers.
One of the most important emotions that helps define us as a human is exhibiting empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand another person’s thoughts and feelings in a situation from their point of view rather than your own. Psychologists have identified three different types of empathy. Who knew? They are Cognitive Empathy, Emotional Empathy, and Compassionate Empathy. Cognitive Empathy is when you know how the person is feeling and what they might think. Emotional Empathy is when you feel physically along with the other person as though their emotions were contagious. Finally, and most important is Compassionate Empathy, where you not only understand a person’s predicament and feel with them but are spontaneously moved to help if needed.
I would never claim to fully understand the pain and loss felt by family members and friends of innocent children and adults who were victims of mass shootings over the past decade. Still, I cried when I heard the news about the babies slaughtered in Newtown and Uvalde. To this day, I still well up with tears when they are discussed. The actions and inactions of Republican politicians in response to these mass killings and others have been self-defining. They have shown that they cannot exhibit cognitive, emotional, or compassionate empathy. I couldn’t help but think that they were soulless. These feelings are not a political judgment; this is a human judgment.
Paraphrasing what one commentator said, Republican politicians are ensuring the United States has the most potently armed mass murderers worldwide. It was bad enough that they did nothing to pass legislation that diminished the likelihood of these events occurring. They did just the opposite and did their best to increase the likelihood of them happening. Callousness and indifference are characteristics that would never win my friendship or support.
One of the most historic migrations of voters from one political party to another has been Black Americans moving from the Republican Party to the Democratic Party, primarily during the 1950s and 1960s. The primary reason was due to another migration. The Segregationists that were part of the Democrats’ coalition packed their white robes and went to the Republican Party. Democrats were ecstatic to be rid of them, but unfortunately, they infiltrated and infected a party that once proudly called itself the Party of Lincoln. This transformation gives new meaning to parents’ warning, “be careful who you hang out with.”
Indeed, everyone has the right to choose who they associate with, but if the Republican Party were a person, how much distance would you place between yourself, your family, and them? Honestly?
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